Doing Family: Decentering Heteronormativity in “Marriage” and “Family” Therapy | Jacqueline Hudak, Shawn V. Giammattei | ResearchPod

Transcript: Doing Family: Decentering Heteronormativity in “Marriage” and “Family” Therapy

[[RP_SECTION:critique-of-assimilationist-research|Critique of assimilationist research]]

Alex: [measured, calm, direct] The field's long-standing research paradigm—which seeks to prove that same-sex families are functionally identical to heterosexual ones—is a defensive trap. By prioritizing conformity over structural critique, it inadvertently reinforces the very heteronormativity it's trying to escape. That's the central argument of a 2010 monograph by Jacqueline Hudak and Shawn Giammattei in the American Family Therapy Academy series.

Sam: That's a strong claim. If the whole point of that research was to secure social and legal legitimacy for LGBT families, are they saying the "no difference" approach is actually working against itself?

Alex: That's precisely the argument. By constantly demonstrating that these families look and function like the heterosexual norm, researchers are essentially requiring LGBT families to "cover" their differences in order to be accepted—rather than challenging the norm itself. The legitimacy on offer is conditional on assimilation.

Sam: So the "no difference" strategy is framed as assimilationist. What's the alternative? How do you move away from that baseline without losing the ability to talk meaningfully about family wellbeing? [[RP_SECTION:doing-family-framework|Doing family framework]]

Alex: They propose a shift from viewing family as a static noun—an institution defined by its structure—to what they call "doing family." Family becomes an ongoing, intentional practice of caretaking and relational responsibility, not a box you check by having the right composition.

Sam: That's a significant ontological move. Instead of auditing structure—two parents, biological ties—you're evaluating the quality of relational labor. Does that change how a therapist would actually work with a couple in the room?

Alex: Substantially. A therapist working from this model stops trying to normalize a couple by slotting them into traditional gendered roles—breadwinner, nurturer—and instead focuses on how they negotiate their specific relational dynamics on their own terms. The question shifts from "do you look like a standard family?" to "how are you building one?"

Sam: But there's a risk there. If the therapist still holds an invisible heteronormative standard for what that relational labor should look like, haven't you just relocated the bias rather than removed it? [[RP_SECTION:naming-heterosexuality-as-identity|Naming heterosexuality as identity]]

Alex: That's the core tension the authors are trying to resolve. Their answer is that therapists must explicitly name heterosexuality as a specific, constructed cultural identity—rather than the invisible, universal default—to stop it from functioning as a hidden baseline. As long as it goes unnamed, it remains unexamined and unassailable.

Doing Family: Decentering Heteronormativity in “Marriage” and “Family” Therapy

Jacqueline Hudak, Shawn V. Giammattei

Sep 16, 2026·4:44·user_upload

HeteronormativityDoing FamilyHeterosexual PrivilegeQueer TheorySexual Fluidity

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5 min

Briefing

The Problem with Heteronormativity in Therapy

Family therapy as a field has historically relied on the assumption that the nuclear, heterosexual family is the standard for health and normalcy. The authors argue that this heteronormativity—the uncritical adoption of heterosexuality as the default—constrains clinical theory, training, and research. By treating "marriage" and "family" as fixed, binary concepts, the profession inadvertently pathologizes or renders invisible any relationship structure that falls outside these traditional bounds. This silence around heterosexuality maintains it as a position of dominance, forcing sexual minorities to constantly "come out" or assimilate to heterosexual norms to be recognized as legitimate.

Shifting to "Doing Family"

To move toward a more inclusive and accurate model, the authors propose shifting the focus from "the family" as a noun to "doing family" as a verb. Drawing on queer theory and postmodernism, this approach views family as a set of practices, responsibilities, and caretaking bonds rather than a static institution. When therapists stop using gender-prescriptive roles as the baseline for health, they can better appreciate the diverse ways families organize themselves. Research suggests that non-heterosexual families often develop more egalitarian structures and resilient strategies precisely because they are not constrained by traditional, gendered expectations.

Transforming Clinical Practice

The authors suggest three primary ways for the field to decenter heteronormativity:

Language and Naming: Therapists must actively name heterosexuality rather than treating it as the invisible default. This involves deconstructing binary notions of gender and avoiding the assumption that a "couple" is heterosexual.
Revisiting Research: Much existing research on LGBT families has been defensive, aiming only to prove that they are "just like" heterosexual families. Future research should instead explore what is unique and valuable about non-heterosexual family structures.
Examining Heterosexual Privilege: Training should include an analysis of how heterosexual privilege operates, allowing students to understand the cumulative impact of microaggressions and the systemic advantages conferred upon those who conform to traditional norms.

By embracing variation as the norm, family therapists can move beyond "managing" diversity and instead foster environments that nurture authentic, diverse relational health.

Key Terms and Definitions

Heteronormativity — The pervasive cultural belief that heterosexuality is the natural, superior, and only viable standard for family and relationship structures.
Doing Family — A conceptual shift that views family as a fluid, performative process of caretaking and responsibility rather than a static, predefined institution.
Covering — The social pressure placed on marginalized groups to assimilate to dominant norms, such as the expectation that gay individuals should act "straight" to be accepted.
Microaggressions — Subtle, often unintentional verbal or behavioral indignities that communicate hostility or invalidation toward marginalized groups.
Essentialism — The belief that gender and sexual orientation are fixed, innate, and dichotomous qualities rather than social constructs or performances.

Doing Family: Decentering Heteronormativity in “Marriage” and “Family” Therapy: Research Paper Podcast